Baba
Nightmare marriage
Namaskar,
Here are the key points of this letter:
1. Marriage in Ananda Marga Pracaraka Samgha is for society building, not for any religious dogma or materialistic ends.
2. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
3. The boy and girl should meet and talk beforehand about their aims, goals, lifestyle, and personal preferences.
4. Ultimately the choice of marriage rests with them - the girl and the boy. They are to decide what to do.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Surprised to hear how Dinkar ran to save himself
Recently, on one rainy, dark, lunar midnight, a dear friend of mine came to my house and knocked on the door. I was surprised someone was at the door but after hearing his voice I brought him inside.
He was visibly shaken - nervous, upset, and worried. We talked at length. I found out that his spouse had beat him. She returned from a friend's wedding reception where she ate some tamasik food. It was quite apparent as the onion smell was emanating from her mouth. The husband objected. Then they started quarreling. Ultimately, he overreacted and verbally accosted her. In his fury, he called her nasty names. In turn, she beat and bruised him with a spatula. He ran away to save himself.
For reasons of privacy we shall refer to the husband as Dinkar and the spouse as Rani. Dinkar and I talked for hours that night. I calmed him down. Though I was shocked and surprised to hear since the inception of their marriage they have been quarreling on multiple issues. This was very astonishing to me because I always thought of theirs as an ideal marriage. I did not realise what was going on behind the scenes. All along I had been telling everyone that their marriage was successful. But now look what happened.
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Margiis corroborate that this is common
Just to give you a little background, Dinkar and Rani were married at DMS. It happened quickly and it was nearly forced on them. I also found out that Rani's father gave Dadas a "contribution" of RS 50,000 to arrange the marriage and perform the ceremony. In this way Dinkar was bound. In addition, those Dadas praised Rani. But although her parents are good margiis it became clear that Rani herself wanted nothing to do with Ananda Marga.
Before this, it was known that she would eat tamasik food: onion, garlic, meat, and eggs when she was with her friends in town. She would eat those things outside the house - never bringing it into her own kitchen. Anyway, that night when Dinkar reached to my house, I clearly understood that they were living in hell. Externally it looked exemplary to others, but the reality was something quite different.
I tried to communicate with other margiis, near and far, about such matters and found that this type of thing was not uncommon, unfortunately. I synthesized all the info and now present these points to you to help ensure that such episodes do not happen again and again. Before the boy and girl even marry, something needs to be done to ensure that a mismatched marriage is averted in the future.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Should not have married
Marriage is such an important aspect of our Ananda Marga way of life. Family life plays a vital role on many societal levels so it is important that our Ananda Marga marriages be healthy, vibrant, and strong.
However, in our AM society some cases do arise where the marriage does not go well. In the case of Dinkar and Rani - although they belonged to margiis families and their parents were strong margiis - but as a married couple they did not match. They had different life goals. If they knew this ahead of time they would not have married one another. They married because their parents were margiis, not because they had a shared life vision. They hardly knew each other and Dadas and others were just painting a rosy picture by talking only positives. No one talked about the negative side. If they had known more about each other they would not have married.
This letter contains key guidelines and recommendations for ensuring two people in Ananda Marga have the best opportunity for a proper marriage. Everyone, especially parents and those seeking to get married, should be aware of these following points.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Ananda Marga marriage is for what?
As we all know - first and foremost - our Ananda Marga marriage system is purely for society building. Ananda Marga marriages are for creating a healthy, safe, and inspired environment for raising children in a conscientious manner. The married couple should be confident and ready to contribute to the all-round progress of society: individually & collectively, locally & globally etc. Marriage in Ananda Marga means commitment to one another and strict adherence to AM ideals. It is a unique system; this type of universal outlook is not formed in any other marriage system. They must build a proper unit family and embrace the greater universal family. This is our ideal.
It is in no way related with Hindu ritualistic marriages, western materialistic marriages, or any other "marriage system" from around the world. Nor do we follow or appreciate the new western model of "co-habitating" without marriage and living as a libertine. In all such cases, marriages are either based on external beauty, infatuation, money, post or social status, local or religious dogmas. These are the main allurements and aims most of the time.
Last year, two people married with the false expectation that the other would do all the cooking and cleaning, etc. Both the husband and spouse worked outside the home and neither wanted to attend to any domestic duties. Hence their marriage became a mess because they had the wrong impression from the outset. Today, both of their relations and families are involved daylong in settling their marital disputes.
This is what happens when such matters are not discussed ahead of time.
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Meet & document in writing: duties, promises
The following are points all should be aware of when considering marriage - either their own marriage, or a marriage of a family member or friend.
1. Those getting married must firmly know in their mind that an Ananda Marga marriage is a lifelong commitment to one another for society building. The main idea is for both to take care of their progeny and make their children into bonafide members of society. There is no other outlook than this.
2. The two young people - the future husband and spouse - should get ample scope to talk beforehand. They should have the opportunity to get to know one another and decide for themselves if this is a good match. Here it should be clarified that "getting to know one another" does not mean dating or being boyfriend and girlfriend. The boy and girl can get to know one another in a neutral setting. We can all think and decide what that setting should be. It should be supervised, safe, yet private enough that they can talk freely.
a) They should talk about their goals and aims of life and frankly discuss what they want - i.e. their hopes and expectations. The parents will be a guiding force in arranging talks and meetings between the boy and the girl, but the parents should not impose their own idea of whether this is a good match. The final decision rests with the boy and the girl. So they should carefully evaluate if they share a similar outlook.
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b) The boy and girl should discuss things as basic as: Who will have outside employment? Who will cook? Who will raise the children? Where will we live? All these basic existential points should be discussed as far as possible. Nothing should be left to assumption; one must not rely on preconceived notions. They both should openly and clearly review and compare their vision for how their life will progress. And a final document - or contract - should be made in writing about their various duties and promises. This document should be witnessed and signed by various margii and relatives.
Unfortunately, all too often these things are not discussed; and, in result, there is much confusion and disappointment after marrying. What happens next is separation, marriage breaking, or even divorce.
Talk & see if they are compatible
c) They should talk about their role in Ananda Marga Pracaraka Samgha and their inner, personal link with Guru. If one is very involved in Ananda Marga Pracaraka Samgha and is attracted to sadhana and the other is from a margii family but has zero interest in Ananda Marga teachings, then that marriage is not going to work. So the boy and girl have to sincerely talk about their social and spiritual commitment to Ananda Marga ideals and Baba.
I know one margii family where the husband is somewhat dogmatic but the spouse wishes to sincerely practice Ananda Marga teachings. The husband attends Ananda Marga programs as well as other dogmatic religious gatherings like church etc and he tries to force his spouse to come to those as well. But the margii wife does not like to attend local religious church events. This has become a source of tension and strife.
There are some margii marriages where the husband is very sincere in 16 Pts and other do's and don'ts, but the spouse has other interests and ways of living. So she raised the children in her Islamic way, different from Ananda Marga. In result, the husband has become a stranger in his own house. Sometimes he wishes to sing kiirtan out loud, but with fear he does not do. He wants a home based on Ananda Marga socio-cum-spiritual ideals, but something else is going on. If any margii visits, then the spouse is not at all happy.
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d) Next the young man and young lady should talk about their own personal likes and dislikes related with everyday life - everything: music, sports, literature, food, friendships, exercise, reading, college or university studies, habits etc. They should get a full picture of one another.
e) As far as possible, the boy and girl should get a clear-cut vision of each other's mental outlook. Without that, they definitely should not marry.
Conclusion
To avoid the adverse effects and complications of a bad marriage, all marriage candidates should consider the following points:
1. Marriage in Ananda Marga Pracaraka Samgha is for society building, i.e. raising children, not for any religious dogma or materialistic lustful ends.
2. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
3. The boy and girl should meet and talk beforehand about their aims, goals, lifestyle, and personal preferences.
4. Parents can arrange talks between the boy and the girl, but ultimately the choice of marriage rests with the girl and the boy. They are to decide what to do.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Namaskar,
in Him,
Vikram
About Islamic cruelty & aversion to music
Ananda Marga ideology guides us, “Humanity, in its all-out quest for this aesthetic science, attained spirituality. One must acknowledge this. Herein lies the excellence of aesthetic science. For this reason, I have given my whole-hearted and explicit support for nandana vijiṋána. You know that there are certain religions which do not encourage aesthetic pursuits. You will notice that in those religions inertia, inferiority complexes and a sense of violence are predominant.” (1)
Reference
1. Ananda Vacanamrtam - 10, Yatamána – the Stage of Perseverance
* * *
The below sections are entirely different topics, unrelated to the above material.
They stand on their own as points of interest.
* * *
== Section 2: Important Teaching ==
Key attribute of true Proutist
Shrii Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar says, "Prout is based on spirituality." (1)
Shrii Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar says, "Bodhi jinana, i.e. intuitional (spiritual) knowledge, can be utilised for solving mundane problems. Thus Prout is bodhi jinana." (2)
Note: On and off some have suffered from a particular dogma where they were claiming that communists and socialists are great Prout leaders. And sometimes they have also claimed that any type of atheistic thinker can be a great Prout leader. Such proclamations are completely wrong.
One should always remember the Propounder of Prout’s teaching that those who lack spirituality cannot understand Prout. That means one must be firmly established in sadhana to be a Prout leader. Without that, they will be unfit to lead. Calling a non-sadhaka a great Prout leader is akin to saying that a pig lying in the dirty drain is the cleanest and most pristine living being of this universe. On this matter there should not be any confusion. Top sadhakas alone are capable of being leaders of Prout and guiding the society forward. Here is Ananda Marga philosophy’s complete teaching on this matter:
Shrii Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar says, “PROUT is based on spirituality. Neohumanism is also based on spirituality. Neither PROUT nor Neohumanism are subservient to each other.” (3)
Shrii Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar says, “Knowledge is of two kinds: intellectual and intuitional. Intellectual knowledge is based on experience, hence it is embedded in relativity. It cannot therefore claim to be absolute. Intuitional knowledge is transcendental in character. It dissects and analyses everything by itself, therefore it is absolute.”
“The approach of PROUT is subjective approach through objective adjustment. This presupposes a connecting link between intuition and intellect. This connecting link or touching point is called “Bodhi Jiṋána”. With the help of Bodhi Jiṋána, intuitional knowledge can be utilized for solving mundane problems. Thus PROUT is a Bodhi Jiṋána.”
“Logic is a psychic survey. Such a survey may or may not be correct, therefore it is futile to follow logic blindly. The result of your psychic survey is called your rationality. This psychic survey, embedded in relativity, may or may not be correct. Intuitional vision is the best logic. Intuitional vision should be your guiding ideology. For example, it is an axiomatic truth that everything has come from the Cosmic Father and everything will merge in Him, but this truth is beyond the scope of intellectual logic.” (4)
References
1. Prout in a Nutshell - 14, Questions and Answers [on Society] – 3
2. Prout in a Nutshell - 15, Talks on Prout
3. Prout in a Nutshell - 14, Questions and Answers [on Society] – 3
4. Prout in a Nutshell - 15, Talks on Prout
== Section: Important Teaching ==
Widespread, harmful effects of religion
Ananda Marga ideology states, "Dharma is based on the solid foundation of vigour derived from universal love. The goal of religion is a non-integral entity and as such there remains a narrow outlook. The goal of dharma, however, is infinite Brahma. So the pursuit of dharma increasingly expands one's vision. Sometimes a kind of alliance is noticed between religions but that is entirely an external alliance. The talk of synthesis of religions is totally absurd; it is merely an apparent show of honesty and grandiloquence to hoodwink the common people. Dharma is always singular in number, and never plural. So there is no question of religious synthesis in dharma. Religion is always plural in number – never singular. The synthesis of religions means their annihilation. Where impermanent entities are worshipped as the goal through various ritualistic paraphernalia, there is no scope for synthesis."
"Religion is practiced for the fulfilment of mundane aspirations. This is the reason why a class of clergymen emerged centring around the religion. Ultimately the adherents of these religions become mere tools in the hands of vested interests. With the awakening of nityánitya viveka in human minds and the opening of the door of scientific knowledge, it will not be possible to deceive the people in the name of religion or by holding out the lure of happiness in the next world. The vested interests are quite aware of this fact and hence strive to keep the masses lost in the darkness of ignorance. Like parasites, they manoeuvre themselves to misappropriate, by injecting fear and inferiority complexes, a lion's share of what the ignorant masses earn with their sweat and blood."
"Religious exploiters maintain an unholy alliance with the capitalistic exploiters. With hands upraised, a religious preceptor blesses the wealthy merchants for their future prosperity but refuses to see the faces of his poor disciples who fail to provide handsome prańámii (a fee for the priest's blessing). You will notice that in many religions mythological stories and fables are given more importance than science and rational ideas because they contain ample scope for exploitation of human weaknesses." (1)
Reference
1. Ananda Marga Ideology & Way of Life - 7, The Five Kinds of Conscience (Viveka)
Ananda Marga ideology states, "Dharma is based on the solid foundation of vigour derived from universal love. The goal of religion is a non-integral entity and as such there remains a narrow outlook. The goal of dharma, however, is infinite Brahma. So the pursuit of dharma increasingly expands one's vision. Sometimes a kind of alliance is noticed between religions but that is entirely an external alliance. The talk of synthesis of religions is totally absurd; it is merely an apparent show of honesty and grandiloquence to hoodwink the common people. Dharma is always singular in number, and never plural. So there is no question of religious synthesis in dharma. Religion is always plural in number – never singular. The synthesis of religions means their annihilation. Where impermanent entities are worshipped as the goal through various ritualistic paraphernalia, there is no scope for synthesis."
"Religion is practiced for the fulfilment of mundane aspirations. This is the reason why a class of clergymen emerged centring around the religion. Ultimately the adherents of these religions become mere tools in the hands of vested interests. With the awakening of nityánitya viveka in human minds and the opening of the door of scientific knowledge, it will not be possible to deceive the people in the name of religion or by holding out the lure of happiness in the next world. The vested interests are quite aware of this fact and hence strive to keep the masses lost in the darkness of ignorance. Like parasites, they manoeuvre themselves to misappropriate, by injecting fear and inferiority complexes, a lion's share of what the ignorant masses earn with their sweat and blood."
"Religious exploiters maintain an unholy alliance with the capitalistic exploiters. With hands upraised, a religious preceptor blesses the wealthy merchants for their future prosperity but refuses to see the faces of his poor disciples who fail to provide handsome prańámii (a fee for the priest's blessing). You will notice that in many religions mythological stories and fables are given more importance than science and rational ideas because they contain ample scope for exploitation of human weaknesses." (1)
Reference
1. Ananda Marga Ideology & Way of Life - 7, The Five Kinds of Conscience (Viveka)
== Section: Report ==
How long to “break down” in the environment
~ Courtesy of U.S. National Park Service ~
Here’s a list of common items and how long they take to “break down” in the environment.
Time it takes for garbage to decompose in the environment:
Glass Bottle.......................... 1 million years
Monofilament Fishing Line… 600 years
Plastic Beverage Bottles…… 450 years
Disposable Diapers………… 450 years
Aluminum Can..................... 80-200 years
Foamed Plastic Buoy……… 80 years
Foamed Plastic Cups……… 50 years
Rubber-Boot Sole............... 50-80 years
Tin Cans……………………. 50 years
Leather................................. 50 years
Nylon Fabric........................ 30-40 years
Plastic Film Container........ 20-30 years
Plastic Bag.......................... 10-20 years
Cigarette Butt...................... 1-5 years
Wool Sock............................ 1-5 years
Plywood…………………….. 1-3 years
Waxed Milk Carton………… 3 months
Apple Core…………………. 2 months
Newspaper………………….. 6 weeks
Orange or Banana Peel...... 2-5 weeks
Paper Towel……………….. 2-4 weeks
Information Source: U.S. National Park Service; Mote Marine Lab, Sarasota, FL.
== Section 3: Links ==
Postings to ReadBaba’s humorous analogy about ego
Protecting your child
Feeling of bhakta
Marriage invite: whether to attend
