Bad parenting: paying kids + 5 more

Baba

Bad parenting: paying kids

Namaskar,

In the general society, there are three main ways that parents and educators force learning upon today's children:
(a) offer students money and gifts for studying and achieving academic attainment;
(b) punish students in various ways if they do not study by employing fear tactics or taking away their favourite food and dessert etc;
(c) give the allurement of prestige, professional status, or guarantee a bright future.

These are the common ways that parents and educators pressure or force students to study.
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But, according to Baba, this is not the way to motivate students. This notion of pressuring them to study creates bad habits that will carry on throughout their life, in all realms of existence. The inability of the present system of education in materialistic countries to harness a child's desire to learn is then capitalised on by the mass media and corporate institutions.


How big business steps in

Big business, advertisers, the television and film industry - along with so many pillars of the pseudo-culture world - understand well that children have an inherent desire to learn. When the schools fail to harness this desire, these businesses, marketers, and the media jump in and fill the gap. Big business employs crafty and psychological methods to arouse a spirit of inquiry within students to learn about their business products, while education fails to develop a thirst for true knowledge.

In turn, kids and students memorise commercials and advertisements and become living, breathing advocates of those brands etc. And not only that, those kids become faithful customers, and their families spend huge sums of money buying those products and paying for that type of entertainment. Along the way, the school system fails to instill within students a desire to learn classical knowledge and practical skills. This misstep by education gets converted into a "boon" for big business. Youths become active followers of corporate brands and pop media, and simultaneously they disregard their formal education.
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So it is a complete switchover. The present system of education fails to inspire children to learn and instead forces them and offers monetary incentives. In the end, the students have no real interest and ultimately forget what they were taught. They cannot retain their classroom knowledge. Whereas, marketers and corporations successfully goad children to learn everything about their films, pop songs, slogans, video games, logos, and more. Businesses awaken a thirst within children to learn about their company products, and they need not directly pay any money to those children. Those kids learn about it on their own because they are interested, and, as a result, they retain that information.

The whole scene is backwards. Education fails to awaken a thirst for knowledge and fails to teach children what should be taught; while, businesses inspire children to learn about their company brand and their pseudo-culture gimmicks and gadgets.


Baba's guidelines on the role of education

Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Education must awaken the thirst for knowledge in the students’ minds. The students themselves will create environmental pressure by persistent demands for answers to queries like: What is the answer? Is it correct? The longing, “I wish to know...I wish to understand and assimilate the entire universe” should be created. Such a thirst for knowledge should be created in the minds of students...So a tremendous thirst for knowledge must be awakened in the students’ minds. They will constantly pry their teachers, their parents and their neighbours with questions like: Why is this so? What is that? Why does that happen? Why does this not happen? etc. They are ready to assimilate the entire universe." (1)

Baba says, "Society will gain no lasting benefit if teachers force students to swallow knowledge like quinine pills instead of awakening the thirst for knowledge in the minds of young children, or for that matter in the mind of any student." (2)

Thus, it is the job of parents and educators to awaken that thirst for knowledge through story, queries, or other ways that interest and challenge the child. That will create hunger to learn in which case then the real learning process will start. This should be done by parents, family members, caretakers, teachers, and general citizens - all are involved in raising the child.
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Spoiled & indulgent 

If you give kids money as a means of motivating them to study, that type of psychology will spill over to other arenas of life. The day their mother is sick, they will only go to the store to get medicine if they get paid handsomely by their sick mother. So this idea of paying students to study will just make them spoiled and indulgent. It will wipe out their ability to grow into idealistic, sacrificing, and socially responsible human beings. Because when they are young is the time to teach them these core values, but those are not inculcated. Instead, parents train them with monetary incentives. So children adopt materialistic, business relations as their ideal. In that case, everything is done for monetary return, and they are never given the chance to cultivate an inner drive to help and serve others."

Here is another off-shoot to this problem that abounds based on this same formula:

- Some parents in the US give money to kids to do house chores.
- But it is not at all good to create this type of business relation - rather it is most harmful.
- It sets the tone that children merely have a business relation with their family members and the greater society.
- If this continues then they never develop a sense of duty or responsibility. They think that everything is a commercial transaction. They completely miss out on the ideals of familial and loving relations.
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Personal story

I can never forget the poignant account that I heard from a friend. He had fallen in his own home and could not get up - his ankle was twisted and broken. So he asked his 9-year-old son to bring the walking stick that was 20 feet away in the corner. The boy just looked at his father and said, "If you give me ten dollars then I will bring you the stick." The father ended up lying there on the floor in his helpless condition for two hours because he did not have cash to give to his son. It was only when his wife returned home that he could get up. When I heard this from my friend (i.e. the father), I was aghast. I thought what kind of children are we raising nowadays.

No doubt giving money to do chores or homework is a quick-fix for the immediate future or short-term. But over the long haul, by this way, children lose the opportunity to develop an inner sweetness and feelings of sacrifice. They become creatures of materialism - not human beings. They do everything for the dollar and never cultivate refined human sentiments and characteristics. All because that is how their parents trained them when they were young.
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Conclusion

When children are very small and start speaking, they ask all kinds of questions: What is this? How does it work?  Children at that age are extremely inquisitive and pose innumerable queries. Oftentimes parents and caretakers become overwhelmed. To quiet children, they terrorise them, or give false answers, or scare them. In that way, children become timid and lose their curiosity and zest for knowledge.
 
Baba guides us that the best way to help the child and foster their growth is to answer their questions truthfully. So, either give an honest answer based on the facts; or, if you do not know the answer, then directly say, "I do not know, but when you grow older you will engage in study and research and get the solution." That will be extremely helpful and will advance the child's learning. Whereas, scaring them or telling them lies is very dangerous, and indeed quite harmful, with long-term negative repercussions.
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Namaskar,
at His lotus feet,
Manomohan Deva

Awaken a thirst for knowledge

We should adhere to Baba's mandate and awaken within children a thirst for knowledge and a sense of duty.

Prout philosophy states, "The thirst for knowledge will have to be awakened among students, and reverence, devotion, orderliness and discipline will have to be taught as well." (3)

Here below in so many ways Baba guides us that we are to awaken and support a child's development by nurturing their inherent thirst for knowledge

Ananda Marga philosophy states, "How many teachers try to awaken a genuine thirst for knowledge in their students?" (4)

Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Students go to school and sit for examinations in order to pass. Examiners should bear this fact in mind. They should not adopt the rigid position that “Only such-and-such percentage of students will be allowed to pass.” Examiners should take into account only the range of knowledge and the extent of the thirst for knowledge the students possess." (5)


Forcing students to study does not work

Here is Baba's teaching that employing fear tactics to force children to study is a defective approach. Rather it is important to cultivate a genuine desire to learn.
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   Ananda Marga philosophy says, "It is improper to extort anything from students through undue pressure and intimidation. Intimidation appears to work to some extent, but it does not yield lasting results. Whatever students learn from their parents and teachers out of fear fades into oblivion as soon as the agencies of fear disappear. The reason is that their learning and their fear were inseparably associated, so with the disappearance of fear, the knowledge that they had acquired in the course of their education also disappears from the more developed parts of their minds. As soon as the bullying teacher leaves the classroom the students heave a sigh of relief. Within a few hours, whatever they had committed to memory starts growing hazy. Out of fear of failing their examinations students work hard, poring over books, and accomplish ten days’ work in one hour. But after completing their examinations and playing a game of football or visiting the cinema, they forget much of what they had learned, due to the absence of fear."
   "People in many countries throughout the world are painfully experiencing the detrimental effects of education through the medium of fear. Most educated people lose the abilities they acquired through education after they graduate from school or university and enter their field of work. If I were to assess the value of the education these people received, I would say that most of their time, ability and labour had been wasted or had been spent meaninglessly."
   "So as I was saying, it will not do to impart education through intimidation. A thirst for knowledge must be awakened, and, to quench that thirst, proper education must be given. Only then will education be worthwhile and develop the body, mind and ideals of the student." (6)


Ideal way to teach young children

Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Children are by nature most inclined towards play, so a thirst for knowledge will have to be awakened in children through the medium of play – children should be educated through play methods. Children are also by nature inclined to listen to fantasies and stories. Through stories children can easily be taught the history and geography of various countries, and they may also be taught the initial lessons of how to practise universalism in their lives. Children love play and stories almost equally, so in their case the two should be equally utilized." (7)


Best way to teach adolescents

Ananda Marga philosophy guides us, "The dream of the future first crystallizes in the mind of the adolescent. So adolescents should be taught, without indulging in narrow-mindedness, through the medium of idealism. The minds of young adults are, however, somewhat inclined towards realism, so in their case pure idealism will not suffice. In order to educate such young adults, a harmonious blend of idealism and realism is required." (8)


Teacher must have affection towards student of all ages

Ananda Marga philosophy states, "Teachers must bear in mind that their students – whether adolescents, youths, old people or actual children – are, to them, all just children of different ages; and that they themselves are children like their students. If teachers distance themselves from their students or continually try to maintain a forced gravity, they will not be able to establish sweet, cordial relations with their students. The free and frank exchange of ideas is simply not possible unless a feeling of mutual affection is established. The lack of cordial relations causes many children to heartily wish for the death of either their severe teachers or their abusive parents." (9)

References
1. Prout in a Nutshell - 18, Talks on Education
2. Human Society-1, Education
3. Problems of the Day, pt #33
4. Human Society-1, Education
5. Human Society-1, Education
6. Human Society-1, Education
7. Human Society-1, Education
8. Human Society-1, Education
9. Human Society-1, Education

== Section 2: Prabhat Samgiita ==

Your magical charms

“Ei, surabhita candan vane, ke pát́hále tomáya…” (Prabhat Samgiita #3081)

Purport: 

O’ Divine Entity, who has sent You to this fragrant, sandalwood grove. If You have come on Your own, please tell me whom You are looking for. What is the reason of Your coming?

This sandalwood grove was once ruled by tigers, and it was fraught with snakes. Verily, this sandalwood grove was a very dangerous place that was treacherous and frightful for anyone passing through. Which of Your magical charms have all fear and frightfulness vanished from the sandalwood grove and wholly transformed it into a  place impassioned with love.

The sandalwood tree never bears any fruit. So hungry and thirsty visitors returned disheartened and unfulfilled from the sandalwood grove. Your arrival served as great consolation to all who came and surrendered in the dust of Your pink lotus feet. The sandalwood forest was an enchanting place and the abode of bhakti…

== Section: Important Teaching ==

“Do you know what death is?”

Everything in this universe is temporary and subject to change; only Parama Purusa is permanent - lasting. 

Ananda Marga ideology says, "Amrta means “immortal”. Do you know what death is? Death means a change of form. A boy of five years became a young man – now, the body of that boy underwent death. That young man became old – the body of that young man underwent death. That old man died and he again came here in the form of a little boy – the body of that old man underwent death. Death means a change of form." (1)

Reference
1. Subhasita Samgraha - 24, The Causal Matrix

== Section: Hindi Quote ==

वह भी समाज का बोझा है

Baba says, "जिनमें knowledge है, जिनमें साधना है, जिनमें साधुता है, और जिनमें पाप के ख़िलाफ़ लड़ाई करने की क़ुव्वत है, वही है 'सद्विप्र' | 'लड़ाई नहीं करेंगे, goody-goody boy बनकर चुप-चाप बैठे हुए रहेंगे—भोले-भाले आदमी' | वह सद्विप्र नहीं है | वह भी समाज का बोझा है | वह पापी है | पाप के ख़िलाफ़ जो लड़ाई नहीं करता है, वह ख़ुद पापी है |" (1) (Discourse - पाप, अपराध, मौल मानविक विधान, GD 1967, Chandigarh)

Reference
1. Discourse - पाप, अपराध, मौल मानविक विधान, GD 1967, Chandigarh,

== Section: Comment ==

Re: Pseudo-margii

Namaskar
Brother Vrajendra needs to be cloned.
Superstition and attachment to religious craziness cripples the mind and darkens the heart.
Most all religions are not accepting of others. Those religions with a book last longer than those who do not .
Case in point : How many followers of Zoroaster are there? Zoroastrianism has no book. But scriptures written as allegories can encourage ...but also hamper progress increasing fundamentalism and extreme dogmas. My God is the only God your God is no God. My book is the only book yours is no book
Most scriptures are a lot of "moldy worm eaten papyrus "
Taking down our ego umbrella is required for surrender and will immediately impart a devotional heart. As human beings we must sit down and agree what is logical and what is not...under one vast blue sky ..
In BABA
govinda
USA ...Pittsburgh

- Here is a link to the initial letter on this topic: Pseudo-margii

== Section: Important Teaching ==

Sadhana is human life

Ananda Marga philosophy says, "So humans were created only to do sadhana and attain emancipation. Those who do not do sadhana for their mukti (emancipation)
even though they were created for this purpose, go against the wishes of the Supreme Entity. They defeat the very purpose of the creation of human
beings." (1)

Reference
1. Ananda Marga Elementary,What Is This World?

== Section 3: Links ==

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