Baba
Ideal marriage
Namaskar,
Marriage is a foundational point for forming a great human society. So the process for selecting a spouse should be taken very carefully with clear-cut guidelines and aims, lest disaster strike. Surely, all wish to form a healthy, lasting, and joyous marriage, but that does not always end up being the case.
Some key suggestions enable people to make sound decisions about marriage. Here is a listing of those core aspects.
1. Marriage in AMPS is for society building, not for any religious dogma or materialistic ends.
2. Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
3. The boy and girl should meet and talk beforehand about their aims, goals, lifestyle, and personal preferences.
4. Ultimately the choice of marriage rests with them - the girl and the boy. They are to decide what to do. All along the parents should help in various marital arrangements etc, but the final decision rests exclusively with the boy and the girl.
Following are more detailed points which may be helpful for building lasting marriages in our Ananda Marga Pracaraka Samgha, and averting the nightmare of failed marital relations.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Offspring, education, finance
Finances play a big role in any household. So the boy and girl should have in-depth discussions and get to know each other's lifestyle and views on money. Someone who wishes to live like a king or queen should not marry someone with a sadhu mentality, or vice-versa. There should be clarity on all financial matters including credit, debt, cash allowances etc. The expectations on points of finance should be very clear.
One of the most defining points of any marriage is child rearing. Ahead of time - before they marry - the boy and girl should discuss how they are going to raise their children. What values will they impose? How far will they goad their child into our Ananda Marga way of life? How far will they go to never compromise with dogma? The child should be brought to the path of sadhana at an early age and encouraged in this practice wholeheartedly.
Is one going to let the child play always while the other parent tries to instill a sense of discipline toward spiritual life? Is one going to let the child eat garlic while the other wishes to raise the child on a sentient diet. There are so many points of possible contention.
One should also remember that those children will one day be teenagers. Will you raise a person who will be a slave of pseudo-culture. If so, that teenager may bring meat into your kitchen, alcohol into your study, and harsh, loud music into your sadhana room. If one parent emphasizes spiritual life and the other does not, there are going to be problems - many of them.
So this should be thoroughly discussed beforehand, lest you become a stranger in your own house where your own children have become like non-margiis. In that case, they and your spouse will form a majority vote in your own home. If you do not educate them about our AM way of life from their infancy, this is going to happen.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Married based on external beauty will fall apart
If the groom follows the Indian tradition that females should cook and do all sorts of house chores - if this is his preconceived notion - then it should be be discussed ahead of time. Here I don't want to debate which role is proper or improper for the male and female in a marriage, only this is brought as a point of awareness and that discussion ahead of time is helpful. Otherwise this might be the cause of a marriage break-up.
Next is another important point that the boy and girl should review. They both should be educated about, as well as discuss, how this world is transitory. The beauty they both possess today will not last forever. At any time, they may lose much of that beauty. One might contract some terrible disease like multiple sclerosis, or get involved in a road accident etc. So many things can happen. The boy and girl should be told about how this world is transitory; they should understand the impact of this. If anyone gets married based on external beauty that marriage will fall apart. We have seen this so many times. They should discuss with one another how they will treat and regard each other when they are sick, disabled or helpless. Because, after all, their youthfulness and beauty will not last forever. In that late stage divorce means betrayal.
Binding contract: Follow AM way of life
The teachings of Ananda Marga have to be a central aspect of any margii marriage. Both boy and girl have to be of the mind-set that what Baba says on any given topic is the defining opinion. Both have to be ready to follow Baba in each and every aspect of life. So when there is any disagreement between the husband and spouse, then the answer must be found in Baba's guideline. And that must be accepted by both as final. This should be discussed ahead of time.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
The boy and the girl should be ready to strictly follow the oath of our Ananda Marga marriage: To live like Shiva and Parvatii. This should be formally written down and both the boy and girl should be educated as to what that means and then sign that piece of paper as a veritable contract. This contract must be binding on each and every Ananda Marga marriage. One should be extremely careful and aware if their spouse will adhere to the Ananda Marga way of life or not.
Tremendous benefit
By making all of the above perfectly clear between the boy and girl before marriage, then so many misnomers, false perceptions, and bogus expectations will be washed away. The mind will be balanced and one can make an informed decision whether to marry that person or not. Or should they marry someone else. This will have tremendous benefit in both the personal lives of those who wed as well as in the greater society. People will be successful and productive in their marriages and society will not be plagued by mismatched marriages and divorce. Mismatched marriages are commonly looked upon as normal to others, but those involved in that marriage suffer internally and feel like an alien in their own house. Children will not be left shelterless but rather empowered by having dedicated parents who live by a spiritual ideal. Then society can truly be one in the real spirit of the term.
Some may complain that after reading this now no one will want to get married. They will argue that there are too many stipulations and it is an impossible endeavour. But theirs is not a well-reasoned approach.
We have to remember that when drugs were initially given as medicine then the side effects were never listed and patients were getting harmed. Finally the government intervened and demanded that all medical side effects must be stated. After this judgment, some were concerned that no one will take those medicines if companies are forced to list the side effects. Yet here we are years and decades later, and people still take those medicines and they are aware about the side effects so they can protect themselves. The end result is positive.
Similarly, if people are aware ahead of time about the difficulties of wrong marriage, they will be better off. Then they can properly prepare for getting married and select the right spouse and create an ideal family.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Finally, the main idea is that the entire institution of marriage cannot be stopped. It has been going on for thousands of years. It is for society building. Thus listing the pitfalls of mismatched marriage is not going to deter anyone from getting married. Only it will fortify them with the requisite knowledge to make an educated decision.
Conclusion
We are living in a materialistic society and naturally those debased norms affects us. Verily we are living in an age of gross materialism where "love" marriages are the norm. Two people get attracted - give in to sensual desires and marry - and then divorce when any problem comes or difficulty arises. Or they leave one another when they become infatuated with someone else.
We should not allow this disease to affect our Ananda Marga way of life. Rather we are to positively affect the greater society. Here Baba graphically points out the fate of those who suffer from mismatched marriages.
Ananda Marga philosophy says, "The spouse of a certain gentleman that I knew was quite ill-mannered. One winter evening I saw this gentleman sitting quietly at the foot of a tree. I asked him: “Why are you sitting under this tree on a winter evening? You’ll freeze.” He replied: “You know, my young friend, if I go in the house I’ll hear only khankhan jhanhan [unpleasant and disturbing sounds]. It’s a lot more peaceful out here.” (1)
Marriage is a foundational point for forming a great human society. So the process for selecting a spouse should be taken very carefully.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Namaskar,
In Him,
Jyoti
When Sadguru Baba would graciously bestow His marriage blessing upon newlyweds, He would often say, "Be like Shiva and Parvatii." Naturally, some may wonder what exactly that means in the practical sphere. The sense is that the bride and bridegroom should be true tantrikas and follow the entire Ananda Marga way of life including all of Sixteen Points and live as exemplary Ananda Margiis. Here we have to bear in mind that the spirit behind the teachings of the three Mahasambhutis is all the same. So to "Be like Shiva and Parvati" means being great dharmikas and tantrikas, and in this present era that means being ideal Ananda Margiis.
~ In-depth study ~
One should be prudent - even skeptical, about receiving advice from stakeholders - ie sometimes even family margiis also carry a bias. For instance, let's say that in their unit or bhukti, there is a girl or boy nearing 30 years of age and it is obvious that this person needs to get married soon. Then with the intention of supporting them, such people falsely praise that boy or girl up to the sky in order to attract an interested party. Under the notion of helping to marry that older boy or girl, some such people may say things that are not true. Out of sympathy they may say, "Oh he or she is very good and has always been exemplary in our community." When in fact that is not true. Just they are saying like that in order to get that person married. Actually they want to help but what they are doing is counter-productive. Presenting false perceptions will lead to a bad marriage - or the marriage may simply implode or break apart.
Do not rely on wts for match-making
It is important to remember that Dadas must NOT act as a mediator for any Ananda Marga marriage. Invariably, Dadas will give preference to the family giving them more money. So if the boy is not interested in Ananda Marga and drowned in pseudo-culture, that Dada will paint a false picture and say how the boy is spirited and meticulous in 16 pts. This may not happen every time - but certainly there is scope for such issues. It has happened in the past and must be avoided in the future. And the best way to avoid this in the future is not to involve Wt Dadas.
http://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Besides it is not good for our wholetimers to act as matchmakers. In that process some accidentally get themselves matched up and they leave their Wt ship. This also has happened. For everyone's well-being, no Wt should be actively involved in match-making. Rather Wts should refrain from match-making entirely.
Viváha
Baba has graciously given the perfect system for building a great human society. Marriage is one of the key elements. Every marriage within the Marga should be done only after thoughtful consideration. All should be very aware of what marriage means and they should know who they are marrying.
Ananda Marga philosophy says, "[Shiva] declared that women must be kalatra, which means that women must discharge their obligations to their husbands and their children in such a way that the latter will not have the least difficulty. Those who accepted this new arrangement were declared married...The Sanskrit equivalent for marriage is viváha (vi – vaha + ghaiṋ): it means, after the ceremony, the man and women can no longer live as libertines or as irresponsible so-called family people. They have to discharge their full obligations as bharttá and kalatra, responsible husband and responsible spouse...The liberal meaning of the term viváha is “live one’s life in a new way with a special type of responsibility.” This is the underlying significance of the Shaeva system of marriage." (2)
References
1. Varna Vijinana, Disc: 19
2. Namah Shivaya Shantaya, Disc: 9. Shivokti 3
== Section 2: Prabhat Samgiita ==
Heart filled with love and affection
“Bhálobesecho, more jinecho, viláye diyecho ápanáre...” (Prabhat Samgiita #2034)
Purport:
Parama Purusa, You have loved me and accepted me as Your own. You are so gracious and have extended and spread Yourself in the form of creation with otah and protah yoga- everywhere. You are all-pervading and exist in every particle. You remove inauspicious, dogmatic, and narrow feelings from the mind; wipe away negative samskaras; and wish shubha upon everyone with Your blessings. You are busy in working for the welfare of all. By seeing Your form and attributions I realise that You are my eternal companion. It is Your karuna’.
Parama Purusa, Baba, I did not visit those so-called holy-places. I have not searched for You in various so-called tiirthas”, “holy lands”, or dogmatic religious places like Varanasi, Puri, Mecca, Rome, and Jerusalem. Nor did I go to Ananda Nagar, Tiljala, or Jamalpur in search of You. I also did not go in the caves of treacherous mountains to find You. You are not bound there. Nor did I perform any penance or dogmatic rituals like MPD to attain You. Only I have surrendered my mind at Your lotus feet, and been blessed to receive Your mind and heart, filled with love and affection. Now, by Your mercy, I am divinely intoxicated while living in this material world feeling Your presence always.
Parama Purusa, You are infinite and have innumerable attributions. It is impossible to describe Your greatness and sing Your glory. The Entity who does not have a beginning or an end, also does not have a middle. You are beyond all definitions and imaginations. Baba, You were in the past, are at present, and will remain into the future - forever with me consistently...
== Section: Important Teaching ==
Not everything can be done collectively
Ananda Marga philosophy states, “To continue the flow of His divine play, it is not desirable that all entities of the vast universe should attain the Supreme stance at one time; neither is it the natural process. Thus human beings must strive to attain individual salvation. If Parama Puruśa is pleased, they will surely succeed in their efforts.” (1)
Note: Many things can be done collectively like bhajans, sadhana, meal, bath, and kiirtan etc. These can all be collective endeavours. But not everything in this universe can be done collectively. For instance, collective salvation is not possible. Because then creation will cease to exist and Parama Purusa does not want creation to end. Those who are fortunate will use their free will to do sadhana. Unit beings will get salvation on an individual, case by case basis, not collectively.
Reference
1. Ananda Marga Philosophy in a Nutshell - 5, Equalization of Saḿskáras
দেব লিখুন
“এক কালে, এমন ছিল যখন কোনও মানুষ সাধনা বিজ্ঞানে কিছুটা এগিয়ে গিয়ে ছিল,ঈশ্বরীয় তরঙ্গগুলো সংস্পর্শে আসৰার মত আরও কিছু ৰেশী যোগ্যতা অর্জন করেছিল | মানুষ শ্রদ্ধা করে তাদেরও দেব ৰলত | এবং আমরা আনন্দমার্গেও তো ৰলেছি যে সৰাই পদবী হিসাৰে পুরুষরা দেব লিখুন মেয়েরা দেবী লিখুন | কারণ দেব হওয়াটাই তো তার লক্ষ্য | তাই দেব পদবীকে মানুষের আদর্শ সম্যক্ রূপে প্রতিভাত হয় |” সম্যক্ রূপে উন্মোচিত হয় | (1)
Reference
1. MGD 15 February 1981 Krishnanagar
Ananda Marga ideology states, "Dharma means the attainment of bliss or the endeavour to attain bliss through regular sadhana in the subtler spheres of one’s nature. This blissful state is considered by wise people to be Brahma [the Supreme Entity], and by devotees to be one’s very soul."
"The word dharma is often loosely used for so-called religion. The reason for this is that the founders of almost all the world’s religions propagated their respective doctrines among the common people, claiming them to be the messages of God [i.e., to be dharma]. These founders never followed the path of logic. Whatever their intention might have been, the result was that humanity lost its supreme treasure, its rationality."
"In the Middle Ages some selfish people proclaimed to the backward masses, “I am the messenger of God. Whatever I say is a revelation from God,” just to inject fear and terror into people’s minds. Was it beneficial for humanity to have such doctrines imposed on them in this way?" (1)
Reference
1. Transcription, MGD 7 November 1979 Coimbatur
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“Bhálobesecho, more jinecho, viláye diyecho ápanáre...” (Prabhat Samgiita #2034)
Purport:
Parama Purusa, You have loved me and accepted me as Your own. You are so gracious and have extended and spread Yourself in the form of creation with otah and protah yoga- everywhere. You are all-pervading and exist in every particle. You remove inauspicious, dogmatic, and narrow feelings from the mind; wipe away negative samskaras; and wish shubha upon everyone with Your blessings. You are busy in working for the welfare of all. By seeing Your form and attributions I realise that You are my eternal companion. It is Your karuna’.
Parama Purusa, Baba, I did not visit those so-called holy-places. I have not searched for You in various so-called tiirthas”, “holy lands”, or dogmatic religious places like Varanasi, Puri, Mecca, Rome, and Jerusalem. Nor did I go to Ananda Nagar, Tiljala, or Jamalpur in search of You. I also did not go in the caves of treacherous mountains to find You. You are not bound there. Nor did I perform any penance or dogmatic rituals like MPD to attain You. Only I have surrendered my mind at Your lotus feet, and been blessed to receive Your mind and heart, filled with love and affection. Now, by Your mercy, I am divinely intoxicated while living in this material world feeling Your presence always.
Parama Purusa, You are infinite and have innumerable attributions. It is impossible to describe Your greatness and sing Your glory. The Entity who does not have a beginning or an end, also does not have a middle. You are beyond all definitions and imaginations. Baba, You were in the past, are at present, and will remain into the future - forever with me consistently...
== Section: Important Teaching ==
Not everything can be done collectively
Ananda Marga philosophy states, “To continue the flow of His divine play, it is not desirable that all entities of the vast universe should attain the Supreme stance at one time; neither is it the natural process. Thus human beings must strive to attain individual salvation. If Parama Puruśa is pleased, they will surely succeed in their efforts.” (1)
Note: Many things can be done collectively like bhajans, sadhana, meal, bath, and kiirtan etc. These can all be collective endeavours. But not everything in this universe can be done collectively. For instance, collective salvation is not possible. Because then creation will cease to exist and Parama Purusa does not want creation to end. Those who are fortunate will use their free will to do sadhana. Unit beings will get salvation on an individual, case by case basis, not collectively.
Reference
1. Ananda Marga Philosophy in a Nutshell - 5, Equalization of Saḿskáras
== Section: Bangla Quote ==
“এক কালে, এমন ছিল যখন কোনও মানুষ সাধনা বিজ্ঞানে কিছুটা এগিয়ে গিয়ে ছিল,ঈশ্বরীয় তরঙ্গগুলো সংস্পর্শে আসৰার মত আরও কিছু ৰেশী যোগ্যতা অর্জন করেছিল | মানুষ শ্রদ্ধা করে তাদেরও দেব ৰলত | এবং আমরা আনন্দমার্গেও তো ৰলেছি যে সৰাই পদবী হিসাৰে পুরুষরা দেব লিখুন মেয়েরা দেবী লিখুন | কারণ দেব হওয়াটাই তো তার লক্ষ্য | তাই দেব পদবীকে মানুষের আদর্শ সম্যক্ রূপে প্রতিভাত হয় |” সম্যক্ রূপে উন্মোচিত হয় | (1)
Reference
1. MGD 15 February 1981 Krishnanagar
== Section: Quote ==
Due to religion:
humanity lost its supreme treasure, its rationality
humanity lost its supreme treasure, its rationality
Ananda Marga ideology states, "Dharma means the attainment of bliss or the endeavour to attain bliss through regular sadhana in the subtler spheres of one’s nature. This blissful state is considered by wise people to be Brahma [the Supreme Entity], and by devotees to be one’s very soul."
"The word dharma is often loosely used for so-called religion. The reason for this is that the founders of almost all the world’s religions propagated their respective doctrines among the common people, claiming them to be the messages of God [i.e., to be dharma]. These founders never followed the path of logic. Whatever their intention might have been, the result was that humanity lost its supreme treasure, its rationality."
"In the Middle Ages some selfish people proclaimed to the backward masses, “I am the messenger of God. Whatever I say is a revelation from God,” just to inject fear and terror into people’s minds. Was it beneficial for humanity to have such doctrines imposed on them in this way?" (1)
Reference
1. Transcription, MGD 7 November 1979 Coimbatur
== Section 3: Links ==
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