Baba
Bad marriage
Namaskar,
Matrimony between margiis and non-margiis is a serious issue. We should all know the effect and outcome of such marriages.
In Ananda Marga, marriage is an invaluable tool for building up society. The dharmic qualities of married life include: Raising healthy and spiritually-minded children; supporting one another in all the 3 spheres; serving others; doing pracar etc.
To achieve this ideal, proper care must be taken in forming a marriage – i.e. selecting an appropriate spouse. Both parties should have shared ideals & a common goal. Otherwise the situation may turn in a different, undesirable direction.
Here following are the sad and unfortunate events related with one such scenario.
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One Ex-Wt's mismatched marriage
Here is the case of a particular Wt who left his WT-ship and married a non-margii sister. Read below to find out what happened with this mismatched marriage.
After numerous attempts to find a mate via other avenues, this Wt opted to search the Internet to find his match. Quickly he “met” a young female from the Middle East. And soon after she traveled from her native country to meet him in his home country, so that they could meet in person.
Immediately they became quite attracted to each other physically. And on that ground it all started.
He was unable to guide her
She came from a very dogmatic religious family, and she herself was an ardent follower of Islam. Yet in the hope of getting married, she promised to abide by all the rules and regulations of Ananda Marga – including diet, sadhana, asanas etc. She promised him everything.
And verily at first she expressed a willingness to learn more about meditation. But this ex-Wt had long fallen from the path of sadhana so he was unable to properly guide and inspire her. Rather he was guided by his own lust and within a short period he moved to the Middle East to live with her on a full-time basis.
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After the wedding all promises are broken
The ex-Wt and this young female got married. That was around July 2002 or so. Once married, they immediately had children – and that is when all the problems started. Then everything changed. What was looking like a grand and glorious arrangement became turned up-side-down – so many promises were broken and so many hidden feelings came to the surface.
Here it must be understood that she had all sorts of negative life habits. And this ex-Wt was indulgent so he was completely incapable of guiding her onto the proper path. So this clash quickly took expression right when they got married.
For example she had she said she would give up smoking – but she did not. She continued smoking cigarettes and this irritated him a lot– because he felt suffocated by that cigarette smoke and furthermore it was terribly harmful for their young babies.
She fed meat to the kids
Then they bought a second refrigerator – one had meat, the other was vegetarian. And he warned her that if she fed the children meat he would be very angry and he would divorce her. Then after some time she fed the children meat. But there was little this ex-Wt could do to stop or control the situation. He did not have the strength of character to guide her. Just he was a slave to his own passion. So his own weakness was the main cause.
In that state, one after another clash was cropping up in nearly every sphere of life. And he felt he was living in a house with a stranger.
Finally, after getting beaten many times by his wife, this ex-Wt left her and went back to his home country. He could never properly inspire her onto the path, because when he himself was hardly doing sadhana, then how could he guide others?
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He returns to the Middle East and converts to Islam
A year or two later, this ex-Wt was planning to return to the Middle East and live there (in a house near to hers) so he could see his twin baby boys once or twice a week. But she was trying to block that plan; she wanted to make it difficult for this ex-Wt to have contact with the children. Her entire family and neighborhood set the mandate that until this ex-Wt converted to Islam he could not see the children.
In that desperate situation, he did actually go through the formality of converting to Islam – in the hope of being able to sleep with her. He was given the name Mohamed. But then the pressure was applied to perform all the dogmatic Islamic rituals like namaz etc. Not only that, she demanded that he must eat meat. And to some degree he followed her demands. Though he could not tolerate participating in religious functions and feasting where he had to eat meat etc from the same plate with other male worshipers. This was the Islamic custom, and this was too much for him. Even then for some time he tried.
Because this ex-Wt was trying to abide by her demands in the hope of being able to sleep with her. But she rejected him – and always put forth more demands. Ultimately he became completely isolated and disenchanted with the whole affair. He wanted her in a physical way, but she was not allowing him and instead placed more and more stipulations on following Islam. Finally he lost all hope and left – he returned back to his native land, all alone and feeling glum.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Infatuation was the root cause
So in all the spheres of life there were problems – basic, fundamental problems – clashes and even hostility etc. In that way his life became more difficult and turbulent. All because he got caught up in infatuation and allurement and did not think through the whole situation properly.
So many dilemmas and so much angst and tension was created and the root cause behind this whole debacle was how this ex-Wt forgot all aspects of morality and fell prey to lustful cravings.And in that way he got negatively latched up with someone and the whole downward spiral occurred.
We should be careful because marriage is a very significant decision in life. As Ananda Margiis we are aware that human existence is very valuable – human life is very short. So life is not for sensual enjoyment – it is for higher pursuits, i.e. living a life based on Ananda Marga ideology.
Children became emotionally battered
Hence marriage itself is a beautiful yet very serious commitment. So living together for the sake of physical enjoyment and then getting married is not the way. A union based on lust will not lead to a proper marriage. That will not last, rather it gets broken. And when the father or mother leaves or creates serious problems, the life of the children is adversely affected. The children become emotionally battered by all the quarreling and instability.
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There are numerous examples of this in materialistic society. So many families have gotten destroyed in this way. Mothers alone cannot meet the financial demands by themselves and that creates a lot of tension and disruption in the children’s lives.
Conclusion
The main overarching idea is that society building gets completely ruined when children are a by-product of lustful dealings. In that case the marriage never works out and the children do not get any opportunity to grow properly.
Hence this is the sorrowful situation about what happened in the life of this ex-Wt. This is one alarming story where we should all take a lesson and warn others.
Baba says, “The Samskrta equivalent for marriage is viva’ha (vi-vaha + ghain): it means, after the ceremony, the man and the woman can no longer live as libertines or as irresponsible so-called family people. They have to discharge their full obligations as bhartta’ and kalatra, responsible husband and responsible wife….”
“The literal meaning of the term vivaha is ‘to live one’s life in a new way with a special type of responsibility.’ This is the underlying significance of the Shaeva system of marriage.” (1)
Namaskar,
In Him,
Triloknath
Glue himself with any female via the internet
Directly after leaving his WT-ship, he was indulgent & in his nervous and excited state he was trying hard to link up with one or another female. Under that spell he was serenading many, but ultimately he could not wait. Means no – “I do” – response was forthcoming. So in that restless state, he hastily opted to do the quick-fix option and glue himself up with any female via the Internet.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
So speed and immediate satisfaction / gratification were two of the main factors. It is just like if one person is hungry and does not have time to search for vegetarian food to bring and cook, so to quickly satisfy himself he just bought some meat that was being sold close by. And he ate that. But by that way he got blood dysentery and he died.
Likewise this ex-Wt approached his marriage in similar fashion. And, as seen above, the whole scene of his mismatched marriage turned ugly.
From the mountain peak down to the black depths
Those persons who leave their WT-ship usually fall down from the mountain peak to the hard, bare ground. But this ex-Wt could not remain there either. Rather he fell down a few steps further. Actually he sank completely down into the deep, black depths of the dark ocean. This ex-Wt’s life became hell – and ever since he has been frustrated & depressed – wondering what became of his fate.
Male libertines: past & present
The marriage system was started in the pre-historic era in order to overcome the irresponsible ways of males and to give the necessary support for raising the children in a proper environment.
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By looking around throughout the current scene, it quickly becomes evident how much progress has been made in the field of marriage – or not.
Baba says, “At the beginning of evolution, humans used to lead libertine lives without any consideration for family obligations...The male libertines would not take responsibility for their offspring. They used to wander freely, and as a result, the entire responsibility for raising the children in their infancy would devolve on the mothers. But it was not possible for the mothers alone to bear the responsibility of maintaining the children, as a result of which many children died in early infancy. Those who survived felt themselves to be in a sea of troubles after they were weaned from their mother’s breast-milk. Then they would be deprived of their mother’s love, since she had to take care of the next baby. Those were the days of the prehistoric humans…” (2)
Disaster waiting to happen
All such margii and non-margii marriages fell to the same fate. Regardless of who was dominant in the marriage, in all cases the margii’s life became adversely affected. Spiritual practices fell by the wayside, the margii stopped attending dharmacakra, and the psycho-spiritual flow vanished. Moreover, society lost the benefit of their services. And those who approved of and facilitated these marriages also, now they do not have any face to show.
Marriage is not just a physical relation. Human beings have three personalities – physical, psychic, and spiritual. So if physically they are married but psychically not, that will be hell. There will be emotional pain and agony and psychic duress.
Marrying a non-margii invites hell, chaos
If one is a margii and another is a non-margii, one is vegetarian and the other is a meat-eater, one is non-smoking and the other is a smoker, one has interest in Baba’s books and the other in dogmatic preachings, and the babies got dragged by the mother to some other belief while the father wanted to inspire them to Ananda Marga - all this is trouble.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com/
Plus the father likes to bring acaryas to his house to guide the children, and the mother likes that the dogmatic religious leaders should come; then psychically that margii and non-margii are two different poles, south and north. In this situation, the atmosphere is just hell, chaos.
Another tragic case
The eldest daughter of one senior margii of India ran away with one Muslim boy and later on a big clash occurred, and they separated, effectively ending the marriage. Last we heard she lived in China. So this type of thing is not an isolated incident; it can happen to anyone if they are not careful.
References
1. Namah Shivaya Shantaya - Shivokti 3
2. Namah Shivaya Shantaya - Shivokti 3
* * *
The below sections are entirely different topics, unrelated to the above material.
They stand on their own as points of interest.
* * *
== Section 2: Important Teaching ==
Ananda Marga ideology states, "You exist in a vast, limitless ocean of rasa or essences. A never-ending, radiant wave of manifestations is surging within and without you and radiating through all the ten directions – the indescribable vibrational expressions of small and great, accented and unaccented, eternally flowing thought-waves. Behave properly and reasonably with every expression, with every manifestation of the Cosmic mind. But always remember the One, Who is the essence of all these diverse vibrational manifestations. Train yourselves in the ideal of the lily, which blossoms in the mud and has to keep itself engaged in the struggle for existence day in and day out, parrying, bracing and fighting the shocks of muddy water and the force of storms and squalls and various other vicissitudes of fortune; and yet it does not forget the moon above. It keeps its love for the moon constantly alive. It seems but a most ordinary flower: there is nothing extraordinary about it. Yet, this most ordinary little flower has a romantic tie with the great moon. It has focused all its desires on the moon. Similarly, perhaps you are an ordinary creature – perhaps you have to pass your days in the ups and downs of worldly existence – yet do not forget that Supreme One. Keep all your desires inclined towards Him. Always keep yourself merged in His thought. Go deep into the mood of that Infinite Love. By this your worldly activities will not be hampered in any way."
Kumud candramá dúrete rahiyá yemati rákhaye priiti,
Temati Shrii Rádhá kánu páne cáhi grha káj kare niti.
Ananda Marga ideology states, "No matter what circumstances you are in, never lose sight of the Infinite One. Degradation is impossible for those who have accepted the Supreme Being as the Ideal of their lives. Indulging in mean thoughts only engenders crude vibrations in the Citta, as the result of which you will have to take rebirth in lower species in order to suffer the lowly Saḿskáras created by those crude vibrations. Thus you must arouse higher vibrations in your Citta. Even a man of King Bharata's calibre had to take rebirth as a deer because at the time of his death he was deeply anxious about a fawn. Thus regardless of what you are at present or what you may possibly become in the future, do not digress from the ideal of the Great in any circumstances: do not stray even a step away from the path of realization of Absolute Bliss. Ananda Marga or the path to eternal bliss is the only path for you." (1)
Reference
1. Subhasita Samgraha - 3, Vibration, Form and Colour
== Section: Bangla Quote ==
অন্যায়ের বিরুদ্ধে সংগ্রাম করতে-করতে নিজেকে
সত্পথে রেখে এগিয়ে চলতে হৰে, চলতে হৰেই
“চলতে হৰে, এগিয়ে যেতেই হৰে | এবং অন্যায়ের বিরুদ্ধে সংগ্রাম করতে-করতে নিজেকে সত্পথে রেখে এগিয়ে চলতে হৰে, চলতে হৰেই | কিন্তু চলতে হৰে ৰুদ্ধি-সম্মত পন্থায়, ধর্ম-সম্মত পন্থায় | অধর্মের বিরুদ্ধে, সংগ্রামের মাধ্যমে | নিরীহকে রক্ষা করৰার ব্রতের মাধ্যমে এগিয়ে যেতে হৰে |” (1)
Reference
1. Egiye Cala'i Ma'nus'er Dharma]
== Section: Ananda Vanii ==
For the well-being of humanity
“Those entities in whom psychic and intellectual powers are looked upon as more gorgeous than the physical ones are called humans – predominantly mental beings. Hence, to bring about the real well-being of humanity, greater attention has to be paid to the psychic and intellectual expressions of human beings, for that will lead to perfect spiritual composure and all-round fulfilment in human life.” (Ananda Vanii #73)
Note: The above is one of Baba’s original Ananda Vaniis. These original and true Ananda Vaniis are unique, eternal guidelines that stand as complete discourses in and of themselves. They are unlike Fake Ananda Vaniis which are fabricated by most of the groups - H, B etc.
== Section 3: Links ==
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