Baba
Think this before making friends
Namaskar,
With whom one should be a friend? Should one be friends with someone who is like-minded, or should one befriend anyone and everyone irrespective of their like-mindedness? Here we investigate the answer to this question.
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Categories of animals & humans
Baba says there are various types of species of animals: reptiles, amphibians, mammals, birds, etc. But there are no such categories of species among humans. Rather each human being is a species. No two human beings are alike either in appearance or in nature. For example, when one is traveling on a train and looking at an unknown person, one cannot say for sure if the person is a gentleman or a thief. However, looking at an animal one can easily say how a domesticated cat or dog is going to react in a certain situation, etc. From our past experience, we know how each type of animal reacts to different situations. But when it comes to humans, we are not sure how a given human being will behave in a specific situation.
Are animals or humans more dependable?
Based on skin, colour, and appearance it is very difficult to say how a human being will behave, and hence we cannot categorize humans as the same species. Take two very similar looking human beings in appearance, yet one may be a thief and one may be very dependable. In society today, many are willing to have a pet at home but are unwilling to welcome a human being to their home thinking the human being may become a traitor in the future. Even though the pet is found in a jungle and one does not know what is the background of the pet, one is comfortable in bringing the pet home. But two human beings, even though they know each other for many years, one may be reluctant to share a house with another. Society is very complex these days, and to keep track of individual human behavior a personal identity card is issued by the state and national government of each country. Over a period of time, one’s previous activities and records can be obtained via the numbers on their ID card. Since each human being is different in this world, and one cannot judge whether a person is good or bad, how can one identify who can become a friend?
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Two human beings cannot be same
If the samska’ras are the same for two human beings then two different human beings will be one; they cannot be different.
Ananda Marga philosophy states, “The same saḿskáras cannot live in two separate entities – they want to be fused in one. So if one’s individual saḿskáras could be withdrawn and then infused into two separate structures, they will certainly become one. Ráma and Shyáma are two different entities because each has a different set of saḿskáras. Shyáma doesn’t act or think like Ráma, and Rama doesn’t look like Shyáma. If their separate saḿskáras are removed there will ultimately exist one soul and one mind.” (1)
In one demonstration on 12th May 1969, at Ranchi jagrti, Baba asked two human beings to sit in front of everybody in the room. With His powers he made samska’ras of two people exactly the same, then two bodies started to become one. Baba asked others to separate the two and it was becoming difficult to separate the two as with samska’ras being the same two bodies also became one. Baba said that if we leave these two people like this with one body, they will die, as it is not possible to have two humans to live in one body. He asked others present in the room to separate the two bodies which were becoming one, as with his powers Baba again made the samska’ras different as it was before. That is why we do not see two humans being exactly equal in appearance, neither in qualities or samska’ras. So the same question arises how one can choose another person to be a friend?
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When two individuals become friends?
Since every individual is different, people become friends when there is some percentage of qualities match, i.e. some of the samska’ras are similar. Even though two individuals become friends then also there are differences between them because they have other different samsk’aras. Two become very good friends when the percentage of samska’ras match very well. But no matter how close they are as friends, invariably some or more of their samsk’aras are different, and differences will arise. Since no two things are identical in this world - “vaichitram prakat dharmam sama’nam na bhavishyati.”
There are differences even at the atomic level. No two things are perfectly identical in this world. We live in this world. With whom should be a friend, and whom should we avoid. The whole universe is the creation of Parama’tma. In our dealings with others it is evident that a lesser or greater percentage of our qualities match, then with those with a greater percentage, we will become friends.
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Example: a cycle mechanic
For example, suppose there is a cycle mechanic near the house of brother Mahadeva. There is 1% match of samska’ras between Mahadeva and the cycle mechanic. Mahadeva becomes friends with the cycle mechanic. Mahadeva thinks that the mechanic will be very helpful whenever there will be any problem with his cycle. The mechanic gets some money when he repairs the cycle. So this friendship is mutually beneficial. When Mahadeva sees the mechanic in the market, he says Namaskár, and in return the mechanic says Namaskár.
However, the mechanic has a lot of bad qualities such as smoking, meat eating, alcohol drinking, etc. Mahadeva is an Ananda Margii and does not entertain such bad habits. But still, there is a little match between the two either in terms of interest or necessities. The match may be 1%, 2% or 3%. Still the remainder of percentages which does not match between Mahadeva and the mechanic.
Mahadeva suggested to the mechanic to give up the tamasic (static) qualities, but the mechanic did not listen to him. In that instance, Mahadeva did not force the mechanic as it would not result in any difference in the mechanic. Rather, Mahadeva maintained a friendship with the mechanic, limited to repairing the cycle.
Similar to the cycle mechanic example, we interact with many such persons in our life. We can only try to maintain friendship to the level the other person is comfortable, and we can always try to bring positive changes in them, but we should not force anything. We should also not try to hurt anyone’s emotions or sentiments, as doing so will not result in anything beneficial, and would rather harm the relationship.
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Inspiring others as much as possible
Continuing with the above example, Mahadeva should be friends with others as much as possible with a vision to help others. At the same time, Mahadeva should not feel demoralized if the other person is not making all the changes Mahadeva suggests. For example, a friend of Mahadeva has all sorts of tamasic activities such as meat-eating, alcohol-drinking, etc. Mahadeva tried in a number of ways to inspire his friend to practice yoga asanas, make changes to food habits, and learn sadhana. But his friend only practices asanas, along with kaoshiiki, and ta’ndava. Mahadeva should be happy about the fact that his friend now does asanas, and should not worry about why his friend did not persist with other changes. Mahadeva should try to inspire his friend as much as possible without forcing anything on his friend.
Conclusion
The world is colourful, with many different types of people in it. No two individual human beings are identical and no one will be like each of us. We will not find anyone 100% to our liking. Rather one should adjust oneself while dealing with others knowing that there is nobody out there whose liking will exactly match with ours. We have been blessed with precious human birth, and we should try to inspire others as much as possible and bring others in the path of dharma. We should be happy with whatever they learn and thereby reach as many people as possible. One should not feel demoralized if others do not make all the changes to their lives, and one should be happy with whatever changes others make and keep on inspiring others. When does one feel bad? When there is an expectation. Without expectations, one is always happy. If Mahadeva feels the cycle mechanic will also fix his computer then there arises expectation. As long as Mahadeva’s expectation does not go beyond fixing the cycle, and Mahadeva inspires the mechanic as much as possible, the friendship remains intact as well as over time the mechanic will adopt positive changes with inspiration from Mahadeva. This is how one should deal with everyone in the world.
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Ananda Marga ideology states, “You shall always remember that you have come into this world for the practice of Dharma and to generate friendship, love and affection in the human society. Those who stick to the path of Dharma shall be victorious for eternity.” (2)
In Him,
Nira’ka’ra
References
1. Ananda Marga Philosophy in a Nutshell - 5, Equalization of Saḿskáras
2. Ananda Marga Karma Sannyása in a Nutshell, The Duty of a Spiritualist
== Section 2: Prabhat Samgiita ==
My inertia washes away
Note: Those who don't do 6th lesson sadhana will not be able to understand this Prabhat Samgiita. This is a song of for A-grade bhaktas.
“Tumi, je bhálobásá d́háliá diyácho, bhuvane táhár tulaná nái…” (Prabhat Samgiita #3075)
Purport:
My Parama Purusa Baba, the love You have poured upon me is unparalleled in this universe. You have filled my everything with Your never-ending, incomparable grace. Nobody has loved me as You love me. This fact is indisputable and beyond question. I don’t care who accepts this divine truth and who does not. Your affection is unequaled. By Your mercy, I can see for myself that You are karuna' personified - the essence of compassion.
Supreme Entity, You pour Your sweet intimate kindness and tenderness on me with mamata. You have made me Yours. I belong to You. Your ocean of benevolence is always in high tide. It never wanes. In the waves of that sea, my inertia washes away. Your presence energizes my entire being and fills every cell of my existence with bhakti. In the ocean of forms, I lose myself in my meditation - in the thought of You. It is Your krpa.
Parama Purusa, Baba, You pervade every atom and molecule. You are in every gap and pore of this cosmos. You have not left even a wee-bit of space where You are not. Everywhere You are. So in Your name - in sleep and wakefulness - I kindle the lamp of bhakti in the firewood of my dreams. I repeat my Ista mantra 24 hrs, by Your sweet will.
Supreme Entity, in this universe, Your love is incomparable...
Notes for Prabhat Samgiita #3075:
1. Mamata': Mineness; In Sanskrit “mama” = mine, and the suffix ta’ = -ness; hence “mineness.” To have equal or more love for something / someone than one has for oneself.
Ananda Marga ideology says, "What is the meaning of “mamatá”? Mama + tá = mamatá. Mama means “mine” and thus mamatá is the inner idea of being mine, the feeling that something is my own." (1)
Ananda Marga ideology guides us, "“Mamatá” means “mine-ness” – “Mama” means “one's own”, and the abstract noun derived from it is “mamatá” – meaning, thereby “mine-ness.”" (2)
For example, suppose you are suffering from a fever then naturally you will be concerned about your own health. You will try to cure yourself by going to the doctor and taking medicine etc. If you have mamata for someone else, then if they are sick with a fever you will have the same degree of care for their condition as your own. When one does sadhana then this sense of mamata grows and one ultimately has the feeling of mamata towards the entire created universe. Without sadhana, one’s sense of mamata will be extremely limited whereby one might only care about their own individual existence. So when the mind is extremely narrow one only has mamata for oneself. Those with a slightly broader mind will have mamata towards their parents and family members. And as the circumference of mind expands one will have mamata for other relatives and community members etc. However, it is only with sadhana that the periphery of mind can grow further and further wherein one’s sense of mamata includes all beings and expressions of this cosmos. Parama Purusa has mamata’ for each and every entity - this entire creation, all living and non-living expressions.
2. Ru’pa sa'yare (ocean of form): The poetic language used in this Prabhat Samgiita indicates that in His stance of Nirguna Brahma, Parama Purusa is formless, yet when He comes in this world of form as Taraka Brahma - in the role of Sadguru - He is the ocean of the form. He graciously comes in form because one cannot have a personal relation with a formless entity. In His formless state of Nirguna Brahma Parama Purusa is a shapeless, impersonal Entity, and when He comes in form as Taraka Brahma He is that Personal Entity whom bhaktas can love and share their inner heart. So ocean of form means Taraka Brahma.
References
1. Ananda Vacanamrtam - 7, The True Nature of Bhakti
2. Ananda Vacanamrtam - 1, Pleasing the Lord
== Section 3: Links ==
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