Baba
How to manage emotional people
Namaskar,
There are some people who become very emotional and talk unusual things at certain times. What should one do during such circumstances?
Domination of lower propensities- Examples
There are 1,000 propensities (vrittis) in human beings. Depending on the environment one is in, one or more specific lower propensities may be aroused. Here are a few examples.
Example - 1: A person is not feeling hungry and does not feel like eating. But when s/he went to a restaurant, the smell of food is so good that one is tempted to eat. The lower propensities became dominant and one fell a victim of food at a restaurant, and even though one was not hungry one ended up eating food of static (ta’masika) in nature.
Example - 2: The advertising industry is very prominent in many materialistic spheres. There are various types of advertisements in a variety of outlets such as books, magazines, television, social media, internet, and on the side of roadways. Advertisement is very psychological in nature. The goal of the advertisement is to activate lower propensities and attract people towards their product. Advertisers arouse lower vrittis in general people by displaying attractive images or videos.
Example - 3: Smoking cigarettes is dangerous; this is a very basic knowledge for everyone. However, cigarette manufacturers use various types of attractive advertising techniques to activate lower propensities in viewers. By watching such advertisements, people get attracted because their lower propensities get activated, and they end up smoking.
What we see in these three examples is that depending on the environment one is in, lower propensities can get activated. Human psychology gets affected by the environment one is in and when lower propensities are aroused.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com
Not utilizing mind in adverse situations
When a human is affected by a lower propensity, then one does not utilize the mind properly. One does not think rationally. In general circumstances, one always utilizes the mind to decide what to do, and what not to do. But when any lower propensity gets aroused, then the connection with the mind is lost, and propensities dominate activities. If we see the example of the 9/11 attack on twin-towers, then people who were present in the building at the time of attack, to save their lives, some jumped out of the windows. With a cool mind, they would not have jumped out of the windows. But in panic, fear, jumping out of the windows became a viable option as the process of utilizing the mind to think rationally, did not work properly. This is another example illustrating that by engrossing in a lower propensity, one does not utilize the mind properly.
Example: In younger age, people get infatuated with the opposite gender. Being infatuated one does not utilize the mind properly, such as not listening to parents, neglecting studies, running away from the house, and even going to another city to do a job to be together. With a few days of experiencing infatuation versus reality, one realizes that one did not use their mind properly, and did not take a good decision by not listening to others and running away from the house. Eventually, one returns to the house, knowing one's mistake.
Being emotional one loses connection with rationality
When one becomes emotional, similar phenomena happen. One loses connection with the mind. The best thing one can do during that time is to leave the company of the emotional person at that instance. Talking to the person at that instance will not result in anything, because the mind does not work. The wise person will leave the place when encountered with emotional people, this is the first step. With passage of time, one will understand that being emotional, one was saying things which were not appropriate, and one will feel sorry about it. Even one will apologize that being emotional one said many things which s/he should not have.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com
Advice for emotional person
The advice for an emotional person is to control emotion, and utilize the mind properly, so that such instances of first getting angry, and then apologizing with passage of time, will not come. By being emotional, one is overwhelmed. One should not take any important decision by being emotional. Even one should not speak much when one feels emotional. After some time, the lower propensities will be subdued, and then one can interact with others and also take any decisions.
By being under influence of various circumstances, one gets angry, and uncontrollable. Sometimes one quarrels, and even uses guns or other devices turning up the situation to violence. If we go to a jail, a number of people by being under the influence of emotion, many were violent, used weapons, did hurt others, and repent for the rest of their lives.
Example of two people in an emotional situation
If there are two persons, A, and B. Person A is getting emotional, and person B is accompanying person A. When person B observes that person A is getting emotional, then the best action person B can do is to leave the place. There is no point for person B to convince or lecture person A at that time. With passage of time, person A will realize his/her mistake, or person B can try to convince person A at a later point in time.
What should Person A do, who does not have control over emotions? The person should learn how to control the mind irrespective of the nature of various circumstances. That is why it is recommended one to maintain mental balance even in adverse conditions, i.e., yudhi-sthir (firm even in battle).
Ananda Marga ideology states “Hence yudhi + sthira (yudhi means “in war”). One who keeps oneself sthira [unaffected, unassailed] at the time of battle, who keeps one's balance in battle, who is perfectly poised for upward motion during spiritual practice, and never loses one’s balance at the peak of the fighting, is yudhi + sthira = Yudhiśt́hira” (1)
What to do in adverse situations
In India during the emergency, a number of Anada Margiis went to jail. Upon their return, Baba gave a discourse mentioning how it is difficult to be in jail during the emergency, but the tolerance level increased. By being in adverse conditions, and by enduring difficult times, tolerance level increases.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com
Suppose one is getting tortured, even though having done nothing wrong. At that point of time, one should not take any drastic step quickly. One should increase one’s tolerance level, keep thinking what the appropriate plan of action should be and when appropriate times, one will provide an appropriate response to the oppressor. First tolerance, and then with deep thinking one will take appropriate action. During the tolerance phase, one gets enough time to ponder upon what should be the next step.
Emotional levels in females and males
Sisters typically are much more emotional. That is why they are more capable of raising the child in comparison to males. For example in a family, when one sees that wife is crying, the husband gets emotional, and thinks seriously about what has happened. But it is natural if the wife is crying, the husband should not put much emphasis. The husband should not react much to such situations. If one reacts, then the situation could be different. In many instances, by being angry at the wife, many end up with divorce. If the husband will try to convince, then heat of the moment is not the right time. Husband can convince the wife later. Emotion is related to hormones. Males are typically stronger to bear emotions than females.
Conclusion
Human beings have a developed mind, and that is what distinguishes them from other animate beings. Even having the intellectual power to distinguish between good and bad, and to rationally decide on the course of action, if one does not utilize the mind, then one is not utilizing all the available faculties of a human being. One of the dangerous aspects is not to utilize the mind when needed, during adverse situations.
The conclusion is that one should be careful while dealing with emotional people. One should leave the place, and deal with the situation later. When a friend is under the influence of alcohol, there is no point talking to the friend at that time. The person would not understand any advice when under the influence of alcohol. The best option is to leave the place, and when the friend becomes normal, then try to talk with him.
https://anandamargauniversal.blogspot.com
Ananda Marga ideology states, “When the mind moves along a particular track or follows a particular discipline in a methodical way, this is called “devotion” or bhakti; but when it does not follow a particular method, when it moves haphazardly, swept away by whim, it is called “emotion”. This is the fundamental difference between devotion and emotion.” (2)
In Him,
Nira’ka’ra
References
(1) Ánanda Vacanámrtam Part 17, Spiritual Lessons of the Giitá – 3:
(2) Subháśita Saḿgraha Part 18, The Cult of Spirituality – the Cult of Pinnacled Order
== Section 3: Links ==
Recent postingsOther topics of interest
